the no-entry widout the no...

Loving was something I ran from.
Trusting was something that didn't come easy.
Being myself was something I could never do.
Faking a smile was something that came naturally.
Hating myself was something I could not hide.
Being free was something that seemed so far away.
Wishing was something I learned didn't come true.
Everything was just so fake to me.
I was a stranger to myself.
But that all changed in one quick heartbeat.
When you said you loved me..........................

a new beginning or an end....

Either i am going insane or the whole world is conspiring against my happiness...everything seems to be over...in a fraction of a second my a lil world no longer exists....best of friends...have vanished...why...i have no clue...everybody does what is good for them...people do what is important for them...nd thats the lifestyle am gonna adopt soon...where my whole world will hover around my happiness..nd its time to think about the real ME.....the extra special ppl...the understandings..the time sharing...everything is over now...these r the ephemeral joys of growing up...didnt noe that dis is the way its gonna be over.....i always thot saying something had two meanings...m still a novice in this new new world...i suddenly feel like an alien....alien in my own world on wich i stepped 21 yrs ago...its a strange strange world...people have their own comprehensions...own interpretations...everything has an altogether different meaning..listening to them gives me gooseflesh..wots rong wid my sense of reasoning?? why cant i think that way as well????? belonging to a birla school since childhood...strongly feel all schools should be shut down....r u asking y??? because...they didnt teach me the real comprehensions nd interpretations of life...so y did i pay them???? and y because of them i should be an alien in my own world...m nt seeking sympathies...broad shoulders to lean on....not anymore....its time to get up...nd make sumthing out of my life...be what my "pathshaala" tot me...nd be d small town yet happy in my own world gal that i alwys was...nd one lastt thing...there are no relations in this world....there is only person that exists...nd thats "ME"....one relation thats "I" and one person that each one of us love and thats "MYSELF"....i l be a part of the race very soon....